A Guide to Mental Health: Managing Chronic Stress
- Elmen Lamprecht
- 1 day ago
- 10 min read
In a previous blog, we discussed managing pressure in stressful situations. While addressing short-term pressure is crucial, chronic stress significantly impacts mental health. Prolonged stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and various other mental health issues. Therefore, addressing chronic stress is essential for overall well-being.
The Art of Not Crossing the Bridge
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” - Winston Churchill
A particularly powerful stress management technique is learning to leave the worries of tomorrow exactly where they belong – tomorrow. Admittedly, this is a very difficult skill to master. Simple to grasp, difficult to master. Many cultures have sayings about not stressing too much about the future. In English, it's “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.” In Japanese, “Tomorrow’s winds will blow tomorrow.” In Germany, they say: “Don’t worry about eggs that haven’t been laid yet.” And perhaps my favourite, an Arabic saying: “He who predicts the future lies, even if he tells the truth.”
All these sayings convey the same truth: The future is uncertain because we cannot know everything that will impact tomorrow. Perhaps the thing we worry about never happens. Perhaps it does, but it is not as detrimental as we thought – or it has unexpected positive consequences for us. Perhaps it happens and is as bad as we thought, but we are stronger and better equipped to handle it. Naturally, we should think about the future and prepare for it. We cannot ignore risks or let potential opportunities pass. But we cannot sacrifice the present's bounty for a promised treasure in the future. We cannot sacrifice our mental health by stressing about future matters.
The answer to this simple but demanding challenge is not Mindfulness. Mindfulness is about relieving stress by focusing on the present. As a short-term stress-relieving technique, it is highly effective and encouraged. However, mindfulness does not address the root of the problem: our unhealthy relationship with the future. Like a drug, Mindfulness numbs the pain associated with stressing about the future and makes us feel calm and relaxed – for a short while. Inevitably, our minds venture back to the future, and the torment recycles. While Mindfulness should form part of our stress management repertoire, we should move beyond pain management toward curing the disease of stressing about the future.
Stress Management and the 3 Principles of a Resolute Life
Chronic stress about the future can only be cured by fixing our relationship with the future through finding peace with our Purpose. By Living the Life of Resolute Beings and adhering to its 3 Principles, you tame the beast and the fear of the future dissipates. This is accomplished through the following effects of a Resolute Life:
Removing the Fear of the Unknown
By seizing the First Principle – Live with Intent – we grow our awareness and become familiar with the unknown future. Through Intent, we touch the untouchable, enlighten our path before us, and transform the unknown into the known. By knowing our future, we remove the sting of uncertainty. By knowing our path, we are certain which direction will take us to our destiny and can make decisions with conviction. Even more, by Living with Intent, the energy of Intent flows through us, providing us with an abundance of energy to overcome any obstacle the future might bring.
Optimizing Our Resources to Overcome Any Challenge
By adopting the Second Principle – Be Resourceful – you are confident that your resources will always be sufficient to counter any threat you might face. Yes, we sometimes face dire situations in the short term, but by adopting the practices and habits associated with the Second Principle, your resources will continuously grow until you flourish in abundance. Therefore, whatever stress you might now have by believing your resources are not enough to repel the threats you are facing, you know this is a short-term matter. By diligently living with the discipline required by the 2nd Principle, in the future you will always have more resources than threats.
Leaning on Your Support System When You Need To
No matter how strong we are, we all need a support system to fall back on when the going gets tough. Whether it is to vent when you are angry, to obtain counsel when you are unsure, to cry in someone’s arms when you are despondent, to hide under protection when you are scared, or to tap into resources when you fall short – we all need a social support system on our Resolute Journey. By embracing the Third Principle – Focus on Others – the stress of the world will never overwhelm you because you are not fighting the good fight alone. You have a crew of trusted companions that travel this journey with you, supporting you when you need it, just like you support them when they need it.
Applying the Lessons Learned from the Five Influencers
In the book (and covered by a previous blog), we discussed the Five Influencers that impact the synchronization between us and our environment (cause of stress), leading to higher or lower performance. We can use our understanding of the Five Influencers of pressure under stressful situations to develop techniques of managing chronic stress.
Influencer 1: Skill Level
Your stress levels will be vastly reduced if you have the needed skills to perform at work and meet your responsibilities at home. This includes not only the hard skills required to complete tasks successfully but also the soft skills like communication and conflict management. In contrast, if you often feel overwhelmed, believing you lack the skills to successfully control your work or home life, you will experience high levels of stress over a sustained period.
Influencer 2: Personality
Life has a way of throwing us into the deep end, confronting us with encounters that fall outside our comfort zone. And this is a good thing. Growth often comes only when we are dealing with new, unknown, and sometimes even uncomfortable matters, and going outside of your comfort zone now and again is encouraged by the Resolute lifestyle. However, growth also needs rest and nourishment, a retreat to the known and trusted. Constantly confronting the unfamiliar, never retreating to your home base to decompress, exposes you to excess stress.
The Second Principle of the Resolute Life teaches us to optimize our resources, which means working with your personality, community, family, background, and culture. Reduce your overall stress by engaging in work that fits in with who you are. Don’t remain in your home base forever – venture outside to learn and grow. But since learning and growing always involve stress, ensure that you always retreat to your home base.
Influencer 3: Confidence
We have already discussed the impact of positive and negative mental states on practicing your purpose and attaining your destiny. We are less likely to be purposeful and accomplish our dreams if we live under a cloud of negativity. Yerkes and Dodson have shown us that thinking and self-talk (Internal Talk) affect confidence, and confidence impacts stress. By resisting negative mental states and intentionally cultivating positive mental states, you will actively reduce stress in your life. Through positive Internal Talk, you increase your confidence to overcome any obstacle you encounter, and in so doing, decrease the stress related to facing the obstacle. Remember, we experience stress when we perceive that our resources are inefficient. It is through positive Internal Talk that we change our perception and grow confident that we indeed have more than enough resources to face our challenges.
Influencer 4: Task Complexity
In our daily/weekly/monthly rhythms, we complete tasks at different levels of complexity. Simple tasks often require additional stimulation to give us the motivation to complete them, while complex tasks require an environment with limited stimulation so that we can focus optimally. If you need to complete difficult tasks in an overstimulated environment every day, this adds to your chronic stress levels. Adapt your daily schedule and/or environment to accommodate these contrasting requirements. Complete complex tasks when you know you will be alone (early in the morning or when the kids are at school), go to a quiet place (e.g., a small meeting room), or put on headphones and listen to calming music. When you need to smash those simple, boring tasks, do so when surrounded by people (e.g., in the office or a coffee shop), or listen to upbeat music on your headphones. By regulating your schedule and your environment, you will reduce the amount of daily stress you endure.
Influencer 5: Expectations
Very few of us deal with life and death situations daily. If you are one of the few called to serve humanity in this way (doctors, law enforcement, fire and rescue), you require advanced stress management techniques, which we will discuss below. For the rest of us, we must acknowledge that a lot of the stress we experience, we place on ourselves due to unrealistic expectations and/or overestimation of the importance of matters. Some of us tend to expect negative outcomes, even if the probability of them happening is unrealistic. These individuals increase stress by continuously feeling they are fighting for survival.
Others do the opposite by placing unrealistically high expectations on themselves. These individuals increase stress by always feeling inadequate, that their resources are never enough to reach their goals. Parents often overestimate the importance of events in their children’s lives. We convince ourselves that the slightest bit of trouble at school will scar our kids forever, when many experiences are simply not that important for our kids. Even if they are, we always underestimate our kids’ agility, tenacity, and propensity to adapt and move on.
Reduce the stress in your life by always questioning your expectations and beliefs regarding the importance of matters. When you are feeling stressed about a certain anticipated outcome, ask yourself: “Is this outcome truly realistic?” Chances are that it is not, at least not in exactly the way you are picturing it. Adjust your expectations accordingly and feel the stress leave your body. When you are feeling stressed about the importance of a certain event, ask yourself: “Is this really a life-or-death situation?” Chances are it is not. Therefore, whatever situation you or your kids are facing, with a dream, resources, and support (the 3 Principles), no one event is going to keep you from your destiny. Let this perspective change the way you view the importance of that event and feel the stress leave your body.
Advanced Stress Management Techniques
Despite our best intentions to reduce chronic stress using daily, practical stress reduction habits, sometimes more advanced stress management techniques are needed. Perhaps you are serving in a highly stressful occupation (doctor, law enforcement, fire and rescue, etc.). Perhaps you are going through a particularly stressful phase in your life (e.g., moving the family to a new town, serious illness, divorce, etc.). In these cases, normal rest and relaxation are not enough. To relieve stress and regain optimal mental functioning, you need to find something that totally takes your mind off matters. “Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” - Maya Angelou. Consider utilizing meditation and hobbies as advanced stress reduction techniques.
Meditation
We have briefly discussed meditation as a tool to improve your awareness and connect with Intent. This tool is fantastic for this purpose because it stops our mind from spinning and forces it to focus on other things, or even forces it to focus on nothing at all. It is a tool that interrupts our normal way of thinking and disrupts our perception. There are several different types of meditation, and in my book The Daily Life of Resolute Beings, we go into detail around various meditative approaches. All meditation types start with the basics before adding their distinct flavour.
Meditation Basics: Find a quiet place where you can sit down, close your eyes, and breathe naturally. Then, focus on the ebbs and flows of your breath, the rise and fall of your chest and abdomen, and the calm movement of air entering and exiting your nostrils. Allow your awareness to increase your senses while you empty your mind of judgment. If your mind starts to wander, gently return your focus to your breath. In addition, you can condition your mind and body to expect meditation by creating a meditation space or at least meditating in the same place every time. Include elements that stimulate your senses and help you relax, like candles or incense, to improve the conditioning.
Hobbies
Another effective way of taking your mind off your daily difficulties and concentrating on something else is to find a hobby that is relaxing and intellectually stimulating. Sometimes the most difficult part of personal growth (whether it is physical, mental, or any other dimension) is building the motivation to engage with activities that promote progression. By acquiring a hobby that you relish, you will find it easier to make time to engage in activities that are totally unrelated to your everyday concerns. The right hobby snatches you away from your stress and carries you to a world far removed from reality. Like a wholesome drug, it provides reprieve from your worries, allowing you to abandon yourself in an alternative reality. Therefore, a great hobby can provide the motivation you need to force yourself to take a break from your daily stress and responsibilities.
A hobby is most certainly a leisure activity aimed at providing pleasurable release from stress, but it should be distinguished from activities purely focused on rest. A hobby is an active engagement, instead of passive relaxation of the dimensions. It primarily engages the mind but often engages other dimensions as well. For this reason, hobbies can bring you closer to Intent by allowing you to live out your passions. If you are uncertain about what you are passionate about, experimenting with different hobbies will boost your awareness about yourself. Since hobbies offer new challenges and experiences, they provide a safe space where you can expand your perspective and explore yourself, discovering your talents. Most hobbies do not turn out to become careers, but if your current career is not in line with your Purpose (Personal Intent), a hobby is a fantastic way to bridge the gap. A hobby borne from Intent can be the key to your destiny.
Therefore, finding a good hobby is not about picking a random activity from a hat. As a side-effect of gaining self-awareness (First Principle – Live with Intent), you might uncover your passion and a corresponding hobby. If not, think about the kinds of things you like to do, or perhaps something you used to enjoy as a child. Or maybe there are things that you are interested in but never explored further. Perhaps you have a particular aptitude but never really had the time to develop it.
Last words
Managing chronic stress is a multifaceted endeavour that requires a balanced approach, integrating both immediate and long-term strategies. By understanding and applying the principles of a Resolute Life—Living with Intent, Being Resourceful, and Focusing on Others—you can transform your relationship with the future, optimize your resources and build a strong social network. Utilizing the Five Influencers to tailor your daily practices and incorporating advanced techniques like meditation and engaging hobbies can further enhance your ability to manage stress effectively. Through these comprehensive strategies, you can cultivate a resilient mindset, leading to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
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