Emotional Health: The Force Driving Human Achievement
- Elmen Lamprecht
- 13 hours ago
- 10 min read
Emotions are what make humans capable of achieving the impossible. When we encounter obstacles that our intellect suggests there is no way forward, our emotions drive us to break down barriers and create new pathways. When solutions seem exhausted and options appear non-existent, our emotions ignite creativity, finding new answers. When our bodies are weary and lack strength, emotions propel us past our physical limitations toward superhuman feats. While our brains and bodies are extraordinary tools that drive progress and continuous improvement, it is our emotions that dismantle barriers and expand the boundaries of human possibilities.
However, emotions also make us fallible. When the solution is right before our eyes, emotions can blur our vision. When multiple suitable options are available, emotions may deny our freedom to choose. When circumstances allow us to prosper, emotions can drain our energy. While our emotions can propel us toward impossible dreams, they can also imprison us in inescapable nightmares. In a way, we can adjust Sir Francis Bacon’s famous saying to read “[Emotions are] a great servant but a bad master.”
Understanding Emotions
“Emotions are a process, a particular kind of automatic appraisal influenced by our evolutionary and personal past, in which we sense that something important to our welfare is occurring, and a set of psychological changes and emotional behaviours begins to deal with the situation." - Paul Ekman.
Appreciating the complexity of emotions is critical to living a Resolute Life. Our understanding of emotions continuously evolves as our ability to measure and comprehend them increases. Aristotle identified fourteen distinct emotional expressions in the 4th century BCE. Charles Darwin believed there were only four. In the 1970s, Paul Ekman identified six basic emotions through the study of universal facial expressions, which he later updated to seven: anger, contempt, disgust, enjoyment, fear, sadness, and surprise. Ekman further elaborates that “no emotion exists as a single affective or psychological state.
Instead, emotions are comprised of a family of related emotional states which are variations on a shared theme.” The concept of emotional families aligns with Robert Plutchik’s wheel of emotions. According to this theory, emotions can combine to form different feelings, much like a colour wheel creates various colours. Plutchik’s eight basic emotions can blend to form more complex emotions. For example, trust and enjoyment can merge to create love. More recent studies have identified 27 different emotional experiences. An in-depth study on our semantic categorization of emotional experiences, combined with affective dimensions (valence and arousal), revealed that while we can identify these 27 emotional experiences, the boundaries between these categories are fuzzy and not discrete.
Emotion | Words used to describe the feeling |
Admiration | Feeling impressed, pride, amazement |
Adoration | Love, adoration, happiness |
Aesthetic appreciation | Awe, calmness, wonder |
Amusement | Amusement, laughter, humour |
Anger | Anger, disgust, boiling with anger |
Anxiety | Anxiety, fear, nervousness |
Awe | Awe, amazement, feeling impressed |
Awkwardness | Awkwardness, amused embarrassment, embarrassment |
Boredom | Boredom, annoyance, interest |
Calmness | Calmness, peacefulness, serenity |
Confusion | Confusion, curiosity, interested confusion |
Craving | Hunger, desire, satiation of hunger |
Disgust | Disgust, feeling grossed out, extreme disgust |
Empathic pain | Pain, empathic pain, shock |
Entrancement | Interest, amazement, feeling intrigued |
Excitement | Excitement, adrenaline rush, awe |
Fear | Fear, feeling scared, extreme fear |
Horror | Shock, horror, feeling scared |
Interest | Interest, amazement, feeling intrigued |
Joy | Happiness, extreme happiness, love |
Nostalgia | Nostalgia, boredom, reminiscence |
Relief | Relief, deep relief, sense of narrow escape |
Romance | Love, romantic love, romance |
Sadness | Sadness, extreme sadness, sympathy |
Satisfaction | Feeling impressed, satisfaction, awestruck surprise |
Sexual Desire | Sexual arousal, feeling horny, sexual desire |
Surprise | Surprise, shock, amazement |
Human emotion is undeniably complex and, at times, confusing and difficult to decipher. However, emotion is a universally shared experience that binds humans across generations, cultures, and genders. We are all different, yet we share the same emotional experiences.
Investing in Emotional Health
Given the significant impact emotions have on our energy—either as a boost or a drain—investing in our emotional health is as crucial as investing in our physical health.
It is important to note that all emotions are equally valuable and contribute to the fullness of life. Excessive happiness (mania) can be as destructive as excessive sadness (depression). Thus, when we refer to positive and negative emotions, it is not a value judgment. Positive emotions are not inherently better or more valuable than negative emotions. The terms are meant to reflect their impact on the mood spectrum. Positive emotions elevate us, while negative emotions bring us down. Both types are necessary and should be promoted.
Recuperating Emotional Health
While all emotions are justifiable, they do not all have the same impact on our health and well-being. This is supported by theories differentiating between base emotions and more complex ones. Some emotions are primal, providing such intense experiences that they can alter the course of our lives and have long-lasting impacts on our worldviews. These emotions include anger, guilt, fear, sadness, and shame.
Resolving Anger and Guilt Through Forgiveness
“Our anger and annoyance are more detrimental to us than the things themselves which anger or annoy us.” — Marcus Aurelius
Few emotions tap into our primitive brain like anger. Evolutionarily, anger was and still is a useful emotion. When confronted with threats, anger drives us to protect ourselves and our loved ones. Historically, these threats were wild animals or adversarial tribes. Today, they might be societal dangers like drug dealers or burglars. In such instances, acute bouts of anger can provide the bravery and determination to combat threats.
However, anger can become a pervasive experience, always bubbling below the surface, ready to erupt like a volcano. When our worldview perceives everything and everyone as a threat, acute anger turns into persistent rage. By focusing on antagonistic, bigoted, and biased aspects of life, an ever-flowing volcano of resentment can destroy peace, understanding, acceptance, and collaboration. Like fire, anger is a powerful tool under the right circumstances but can become uncontrollable and destructive if not managed appropriately.
The only effective counter to uncontrollable rage is forgiveness. Just as water absorbs the heat that feeds fire, forgiveness absorbs not just the emotional experience of anger but also the rage and resentment fueling future outbursts. Like firefighting, where obtaining, carrying, and dispersing water requires effort, true forgiveness is a process demanding tremendous effort. It is human nature to hold onto grudges, allowing anger to fester and consume our consciousness. But anger consumes energy and leaves us bitter and exhausted. While it takes more energy to forgive in the short term, the effort needed to resolve rage and resentment is significantly less than maintaining it long-term. By actively working on forgiveness, you protect your emotional well-being from being scorched, preserving the resources needed for growth and prosperity.
Before discussing the process of forgiveness, we must address the emotional gravity of guilt. Sometimes, we are the antagonists. Sometimes, we are the threat others need to protect themselves against. When we realize our wrongdoings, forgiving ourselves can be as difficult as forgiving others. Guilt burns with the same ferocity as anger but is directed internally. We resent ourselves, raging against our unforgivable deeds. The result is the same: our emotional well-being turned to soot, smoke, and ash.
The key difference between anger and guilt is that the angry person demands perfection from others, while the guilty person demands it from themselves. This is the dark side of perfectionism. Striving for perfection drives us to improve, but obsessing over it leads to anger or guilt due to unrealistic expectations.
But even forests destroyed by fire harbour the potential for life. All they need is the nourishment of rain. Similarly, to overcome the destructive power of anger and guilt, we need the relief and replenishment that only forgiveness can provide. Forgiveness is the soothing rain extinguishing even the most uncontrollable wildfire. It is the stream washing away the ash and soot of anger and guilt. It is the rain awakening the seeds of life buried under the blackened aftermath of fire.
Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness is not a single act. It is an ongoing process, a consistent habit of keeping anger and guilt in check. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.”
Living a Resolute Life requires forgiveness as a consistent countermeasure against anger and guilt. Just as ecosystems need consistent rain to thrive, we need consistent forgiveness to sustain a resolute life.
True forgiveness is hard. If the object of your anger is external, it means letting go of your anger and desire for vengeance. If the object of your anger is internal (guilt), it means accepting yourself as fallible, admitting mistakes, and letting go of self-castigation. These are not easy decisions, and executing them regularly is even harder. But mastering forgiveness allows us to focus our energy on growth and fulfilment instead of rage and resentment.
How to forgive when you feel you can’t
Several models exist for forgiveness, including Fred Luskin’s Nine Steps to Forgiveness and Robert D. Enright’s Process Model of Forgiveness. Here are some pointers to get started:
Realize that forgiveness is for your benefit. Remaining angry damages you more than the object of your rage, especially if that object is yourself. You are doing yourself a favour by letting go. “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” — St. Augustine.
Clearly understand the ‘why’. Assess why you feel angry or guilty. What made you feel wronged? What would you have preferred? Why did the other person (or you) act that way?
Cultivate empathy and understanding. People make mistakes, including you. Often, offenses occur out of ignorance, not malice. Cultivate empathy and understanding to gain a different perspective.
Open up to let forgiveness in. For forgiveness to flow and extinguish the smouldering embers of your soul, you must open up and let it in. Talk to someone you trust, share your emotions, and open up. Support groups or therapy can also be helpful.
Accept the past and control your future. Forgiveness is about accepting the past and moving on to focus on the present and future. Letting go of past hurts frees you to fulfil your future destiny. “When you forgive, you in no way change the past — but you sure do change the future.” — Bernard Meltzer.
Acknowledge that reconciliation is complex. The forgiveness process starts privately but concludes with interpersonal reconciliation. Reach out to apologize or address offenses, but accept that you cannot control the other person’s reaction. However, forgiveness should proceed regardless of reconciliation.
Recognize that forgiveness is an ongoing process. Memories of hurt and betrayal can last a lifetime, requiring continuous forgiveness. Sometimes, you must repeat the process to overcome regression into rage and resentment.
Learn from your mistakes. Avoid nurturing unrealistic expectations and learn from past mistakes.. “Don’t ignore the lessons of pain nor walk the same path again, or it may happen again. Strive to preserve your new-found peace.” — Terry Mark.
Resolving Fear, Sadness, and Shame Through Courage
Humans are social beings, even introverts crave interaction in some form. Our survival instinct tells us we are safer and more likely to thrive when protected, cared for, and accepted by others. Being loved is one of the most basic human needs. This is exactly why fear, sadness, and shame are such soul-destroying emotions because they make us feel isolated, alone, vulnerable, and rejected. Yet, these emotions are normal, healthy human experiences that strengthen our bonds with others. Fear drives us to seek protection, sadness helps us cope with loss, and shame helps us fit into social norms.
However, excessive fear, sadness, and shame can turn into pervasive, isolating conditions. Experiencing fear is healthy; being fearful is not. Experiencing sadness is healthy; being depressed all the time is not. Feeling ashamed is healthy; being shameful is not. These emotions can create frozen wastelands within us, intensifying feelings of isolation. To conquer these emotions, courage is essential. A support system helps, but the first step must come from within. Igniting a spark of courage to take the first step away from the darkness and cold is often the bravest act. Once you take that step, it becomes easier to continue moving forward.
Different therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Exposure Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Interpersonal Therapy, Behavioral Activation Therapy, and Compassionate Mind Training are useful for dealing with fear, sadness, and shame. Here are some pointers to start with:
Embrace the value of your pain. Fear, sadness, and shame are normal responses to life’s challenges. Embrace them and the value they bring. “You have to hurt in order to know. Fall in order to grow. Lose in order to gain. Because most of life’s lessons are learned through pain.” — Boonah Mohammed.
Gain understanding of your pain. When we learn more about the things that threaten and hurt us, two very positive things happen. Firstly, they become less daunting. When we get to know something better, we learn how to manage it better and this confidence makes our fears less frightening. Secondly, we gain perspective and awareness by viewing the situation from several angles.
Discover your meaning in life. Having a purpose gives you a reason to bear any challenge. This aligns with the principle of Living with Intent. When you find your purpose, a spark ignites that no darkness or cold can extinguish. “He who has a why can bear almost any how.” — Frederick Nietzsche.
Plan your next steps. Stay active and plan how to overcome your pain. Purposeful action helps you feel in control and preoccupied with positive matters, neutralizing fear, sadness, and shame.
Confront your pain. Once you are ready, you will have to stare your demons in the eye, and act with courage to dominate it. This is a momentous and critical event in overcoming pain. Avoiding this confrontation through distractions never works and often worsens the problem. Be courageous and confront your demons.
Lean on your support system. Dealing with fear, sadness, and shame requires a safe space. Share your stories with trusted individuals, join support groups, or seek therapy. Support systems provide the safety needed for vulnerable emotional work.
Look after yourself. When we drown in negative emotions, we find ourselves in perpetual fight or flight mode. During this state when our survival instinct remains active, our habits, routines and instinct to take care of ourselves are scrambled up. It often become necessary to enforce healthy eating, sleeping and regular exercise.
Learn and grow. Sometimes, our decisions create our emotional turmoil. Learn from these mistakes to avoid repeating them and ensure better outcomes in the future.
Last words
Emotional health hinges on your ability to manage anger, guilt, fear, sadness, and shame. By mastering these intense, primal emotions, you can control the energy flow in your life, utilizing their positive influences and negating their negative consequences.
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